Category Archives: Happiness & Success Habits

Dr. Sue Media JCT Valentine’s Day Positive Entertainment

JCT Awards Dr. Sue “Entertainer of the Year”

Dr. Sue shares Love Tips on JCT Radio/TV Show! What makes a great, creative gift (with or without a high price tag)? How can you feel loved and appreciated? What can you do if you don’t get the gift you’ve been hoping for? Infatuation is exciting – like fireworks – but what can you do if it fades? How can you give little valentines to keep that love alive – all year long? Enjoy my Show on JCT Media with Poppa T “The Motivator” Creative Living: Celebrate Valentine’s Day as Love & Friendship Day! Expand your idea of love beyond erotic romance or a relationship with a significant other. Celebrate your friends, family, even your pets and plants! Appreciate What’s There: People express love and friendship in different ways. Sometimes it’s the gift or card that’s great – sometimes it’s something else they do – or don’t do. Value the gift – whatever the form. (Editor/Photographer Jay Berman, Videography: JCT Multimedia)

Susan (“Dr. Sue”) Horowitz, Ph.D.

Book: “Queens of Comedy” (Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Phyllis Diller, and more!) www.smashwords.com/books/view/219367 Musical: “SssWitch”: www.ssswitch.net www.YouTube.com/drsuecomedian https://www.youtube.com/feed/my_videos

Dr. Sue Travel Mini-Cation Positive Entertainment

Brunch with Sue

Between a vacation and stay-cation is a mini-cation – a short vacation with a minimum of packing and mileage. It’s a chance to get away from computers, cleaning, cooking, kids or whatever constitutes your daily scene and upgrade your routine. Instead of hosting a dinner and dealing with sleepover arrangements, mini-cations offer a low-stress, high-fun way to connect with out-of-town friends and family. Many hotels offer dining with a great weekend brunch (often an all-you-can-eat buffet) for hotel guests and locals. A buffet brunch (like the one at the Nassau Marriott) is an easy way to celebrate special occasions – without a huge price tag or the need to negotiate special diets and different sized appetites. Tables can usually be re-arranged for singles, couples, and large groups . Away from urban centers, there is ample parking for overnight and dining guests – a big plus for car-owners and buses.

Pool

Another plus is swimming – many hotels feature pools (outdoor and/or indoor). If you didn’t drop off the kids, you can always drop them in the pool. Mer-folks – like Ariel (the little mermaid) and me – love an all-season dip. We can swim, dry off, and dine in style without going out into the cold – just wrap up in a robe or towel and change for dinner. What happens to that towel? No problem! One lovely perk of mini-cations is that someone else picks up the towels, scrubs the tub, and makes the bed! As for local activities, most hotels are located near museums, movie-plexes, and theatres plus shopping – upscale, downscale, and everything in-between. (One clothing store was so upscale, all I could afford was a christening gown – and how often does a Jewish girl wear that?) As a mer-lady (without fish scales), I settled for a swim cap – for my next mini-cation! Creative Living: Give Yourself a Break: You may not have the time or cash for a major vacation, but a weekend, overnight, or day-cation treat can recharge your batteries and enlarge your point of view! (Editor/Photographer: Jay Berman)

Susan (“Dr. Sue”) Horowitz, Ph.D.

Dr. Sue Hope in the Hurricane Positive Entertainment

Hurricane Sandy brought much suffering – but also many gifts and insights. Here are a few that I would like to share with you, my dear readers.

Cultivate positive relationships – they are the flowers in the garden of our lives.

o The support of family, friends colleagues, neighbors, and all relationships is very important. Being a professor gives my life a sense of purpose and community. o Be kind and respectful to others and protect and take care of yourself. Forgive others and yourself for mistakes. If you cannot forgive, keep some distance, but do not let your mind dwell on bitterness. Stay away from negative influences, and look for positive associations.

Sue Piano Home

Cultivate something that you love to do – give it value, and stay connected to your passions and interests. o I love to sing, play piano, and write songs. When I was isolated at home, I spent many hours every day at my piano singing and improving my songs. I also like painting, and I painted a thank you card for a friend. o What do you love? We all need interests and activities we enjoy. o Learn to enjoy reading – you will not be dependent on electricity or outside entertainment if you have the companionship of a book or magazine – even by candle light.

Learn skills and knowledge – including languages, computer, and cell phone. All skills are valuable – you never know when you need them.

o My languages have helped me make friends across cultures. My cross-cultural friends supported me in my hours of need. o My writing/communication skills have opened many doors for me. I hope you will learn skills that give you opportunities in life. o My only communication with the outside world (aside from my neighbors) was by cell phone. To save my battery, I charged my cell phone via my computer (which I did not use), restricted my cell phone use to text and Emails (talking uses more battery power than text or email), and removed the battery when not in use (thanks to the good advice of my brother). By the last day, my computer battery was used up, and my cell phone was down to low power – but better low power than none! Without some knowledge of computers and cell phones, I would have been stuck!

Be wise and be positive – prepare for the worst, and focus on the best.

o I stored water and food and used them frugally, and I carefully laid out a flashlight, candles, lighter (for my gas stove), and matches. I cooked food in advance so it would not spoil, and rationed food so it would last. I ate a stove top dinner by candle light with a glass of wine. Maybe I couldn’t shower or flush the toilet, but I could still enjoy the comfort of food and feel elegant! o I focused on what I had (not what was missing) and used my imagination – if Lincoln read by candle light, so could I. I couldn’t go out because I did not want to climb 17 flights of stairs with a knee problem in the dark – uh-oh! But that gave me the time to stay connected to music and art.

Keep faith

o We all believe different things, and some of us are atheists. Personally, I do not care or judge what people do or do not believe. But I do believe that it is important to have faith in something – whether it is traditional religion or a general sense of hope and gratitude. When the light grew dim, and darkness and long night came into the sky, I played and sang the song “Amazing Grace” with the beautiful verse: “Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come, ‘twas grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.” The hurricane was hard in some ways, but it brought me wonderful gifts – I connected to the people I love, to my art, and to my faith. Please enjoy my song “Dare to Believe” You can download it free from my CD “Keys of Love” www.cdbaby.com/drsue I hope that you are well, safe, and happy. Thank you for reading my blog.

Susan (“Dr. Sue”) Horowitz, Ph.D.

Dr. Sue Conflict Resolution Positive Entertainment

Resolving Conflict Conflict seems to be part of nature and human life. Animals fight over turf and access to desirable mates. So do people. We fight for territory, mates, survival, dominance, and a host of other complex issues. Some disagreement seems to be inevitable, but how much we fight, how we fight, and how we resolve conflict have a major impact on our relationships, health, success, and happiness. If, like myself, you’re interested in living a happy, successful life with minimum conflict, here are a few suggestions. Prevention is easier than cure – to avoid conflict and stress –

Be slow to accuse. Allow for misunderstanding, your own errors, and good intentions. Ask for clarification.
Phrase things in neutral ways. Saying that something is missing is less confrontational than accusing someone of taking it. Saying you don’t understand the discrepancy between a C- exam and a A paper and asking for an explanation is less confrontational than accusing someone of plagiarism. (They can still redo the paper).
Avoid disrespectful, hurtful language. Words and phrases like “Shut up! ” “Stupid!” curse words, ethnic/religious slurs, sexual slurs (like “slut” ), homophobic remarks, etc. escalate conflict and create bad feelings.
Cooperate with a reasonable request: Don’t defend or justify. Just do it.
Rudeness does not require a counter-attack. Try to set limits without escalating.
Useful phrases: “What do you think?” “How do you feel about…?” “I’m sorry.”

If you are already in a conflict situation, here are a few suggestions.

Vent safely: write it out, talk to someone you know you can trust – preferably not in your office or connected to the person you’re in conflict with. If you’re a celebrity, be very careful about this.
Vent physically: Exhale sharply several times. Then breathe deeply and slowly. Exercise. Walk around the block.
Do a CPA: How did I Create, Promote, or Allow this situation to occur. Even if we think the other person is 99% in the wrong, there is still that annoying 1% 🙂
Speak to the person in private or over the phone when it’s convenient – public accusations tend to escalate into fights. Ask if this is a good time to talk.
Write a letter or Email – revise several times until you can do it without accusing. Writing gives you a chance to control your communication and keeps you at a distance. In-person communication is what you ultimately need for intimates – even if you email first.
Try to include at least some of the following in your communication.
Compliments – is there anything you like or admire about the person? Say it.
State the facts and state your feelings Keep your dignity. There’s no need to put up with disrespect or to lie – and no need to make negative generalizations about the other person’s character.
Make the other person at least partly right: A lot of conflict is about being right, so tell the other person where they are right and what you learned from them. Empathize with their situation.
Look for ways to agree /look for common goals and values. Don’t pretend to agree where you do not or promise to change behavior that you have no intention of changing – just focus on what you have in common.
Apologize where appropriate and where you can be truthful. You can be sorry that you offended them – even if it was unintentional.
Wish them well. Why not ? It costs you nothing, and makes you feel gracious.

If the other person continues to fight, you don’t have to. Stop emailing, get off the phone, walk away. Give everybody a chance to cool off. Ask yourself: is this really worth fighting for? If the answer is yes – then go for it! Don’t give up your own dreams or dignity to avoid conflict. Conflict is not always bad – sometimes it’s the price we pay to live a full life. But if, in the grand scheme of things – and your life – it’s not really that important, ask yourself – would I rather be right or be happy? If you would rather be happy, then let it go- and enjoy your life!

Susan (“Dr. Sue”) Horowitz, Ph.D.